In my last post, I talked about how to identify limiting beliefs. You may run into an obstacle in reaching your dreams unless you identify any limiting beliefs. In this post, we’ll delve deeper into your beliefs.
As discussed in the last post, when you state your goal, what immediately pops into your head? If it’s something negative, that’s your limiting belief and something you need to analyze. Your limiting beliefs may exist as passing thoughts or feelings. You may be saying negative thoughts to yourself or as even feeling negative reactions to what others say to you.
Examine your overall beliefs about the world.
Do you have a positive mindset? Do you consider yourself an optimist or a pessimist? What has influenced your beliefs? Where did you get this belief? Parents? Teachers? Society? Media? Obviously, many of our beliefs are handed down from family and friends. These beliefs are so ingrained that you may not recognize their impact. They become accepted as fact and influence your approach to any goal.
For example, do your family members struggle with their weight? Do they frequently say things like “Well, the Smiths have always been a hefty bunch” when explaining their weight loss issues. I’m not addressing genetics or heredity; simply, look at the general mindset of the group. This negative mindset easily influences your own weight loss trials. If you’re unable to lose weight, your mind can explain that the family has always been heavy, instead of a more positive statement.
In fact, look at circumstances where things do go wrong or not as you expect. What is your typical reaction? Do you blame others for your problems? Do you think “It’s not my fault”, “This always happens to me”, or “Why did I think this time would be better”? These are your subconscious beliefs, and it’s important to recognize your approach to the world, events, relationships, and yourself.
Negative subconscious beliefs color your journey to success with a negative mindset.
Once you identify where the belief originated, ask yourself, what is the underlying benefit from believing this? You are gaining something from continuing to accept the belief and behavior associated with it. There is a payoff, even if the belief is negative.
For example, let’s say you are organized at home or at school. But at work, you frequently find yourself disorganized. You become frustrated during projects because you can’t find necessary paperwork or contact names. You may think, “At home, I know where everything is. It’s very organized there, but here, I can’t find anything.” You may even have set a goal to be more organized at work. But by being disorganized, you are receiving a benefit.
What’s your secondary gain?
Yes, negative beliefs give you some kind of benefit. Using the above example, maybe the payoff is that people don’t give you projects because you’re known for your disorganization; it saves you from additional work that you may not want to do. Maybe your disorganization interferes from even starting projects, which are given to co-workers; again, giving you a payoff of not doing a project.
You have a good reason for wanting the payoff.
It may not be comfortable to think about the payoff. After all, why wouldn’t you want to do your best at your job? Why wouldn’t you want the additional work? The payoff might be that projects are given to others, or perhaps you get extra help that your boss doesn’t give to more organized staff members.
What’s underneath the payoff? Maybe you’re in a job that you dislike, doing work that you dislike, or feeling that you’re not capable of doing the work. Instead of addressing the bigger problem of being in a job you hate or addressing your feelings of inadequacy, you sabotage yourself by being disorganized and not starting a project at hand.
Analyze the underlying fear of your subconscious beliefs.
Dig deep and realize that your negative belief is not the genuine issue. Start asking yourself what you’re afraid of? What’s hiding underneath the belief? Conversely, do you believe you have the talent, ability, passion, and determination to succeed?
Continuing with the above example, let’s say you realize it is truly the job you want to change, rather than a problem with your organizational skills. What’s stopping you from searching for another job? What’s stopping you from finding the job of your dreams?
Instead of letting the negative, subconscious belief sabotage your goal, address the underlying fear and payoff. Once you’re aware of your fears and the secondary gains, you can create a new belief or mindset.
Create a new belief.
Think of logical reasons to change. Think about the payoff for your new, positive belief. Think about what your life would look like, if you eliminated this old, limiting belief. Would you get promoted? Would you find your dream job?
In my next post, I’ll give you some ideas in creating your new belief and in strengthening its power in your life.
If you’d like to share your limiting beliefs and secondary gains, I’d love to hear about them. You may need to do a little soul-searching to uncover the underlying benefit, your fears, and the bigger issue. But once you do, you’re on your way to changing the limiting belief.